July 1, 2013 by Manny Wordsmith
Most women, who live alone, would run to their phone at the first sound of flowing water coming from their basement and bathroom.
But Annabelle isn’t like most women.
Instead, in the midst of our Gluten/Lactose-Free Chicken Kabob dinner, she rushes to her bedroom and yells, “Don’t come in here I’m getting naked!” And before I can even process the special words “I’m getting naked”, Annabelle leaps from her bedroom in slow motion wearing only a floral bikini and carrying a pink toolbox. “I’m Always Here” by Jimi Jamison begins playing in my head as I watch her come to her own rescue.
It was one of the most incredible things I had ever seen from a dinner table.
After ten minutes of swishing around in the basement, yelling out expletives and cranking tools, she finally comes back up, soaking wet and out of breath, with a ridiculous smile on her face.
Stunned at her resilience and her ability to handle her own plumbing, I really didn’t know how to ask her if everything was ok because frankly, I really didn’t know what was going on. I mean she looked alright, standing there, wet, in a bikini. She was glowing like a beach angel. Plus, she had just accomplished something most women avoid doing and did it with the most feminine flair I had ever seen. It was like I just watched Kate Middleton drive a monster truck or Zooey Deschanel fix a carburetor. It was some sexy Rosie the Riveter shit.
After staring at her for a couple more seconds, I finally just ask, “um is everything ok down there?”
“Yeah, for now, this is just really embarrassing,” she says. “But I hope you like the food though.”
It was like she was built by Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor.
Feeling disgusted, Annabelle walks into the kitchen, grabs the dish soap and proceeds to go outside to wash from her body whatever came from those pipes. She comes back in a flash, changes clothes and snaps open a beer and continues her night like it was just another days work. It was like she really didn’t need a man in her house or much outside help at all. I was happy that I at least provided her the beer.