August 21, 2012 by Manny Wordsmith
They’ve gotten me in more trouble per capita than any other type of girl. And I blame Elisabeth Shue. YEAH YOU SHUE!
The other day I sat at the bar with a friend of mine, shooting the shit and and talking about our patterns with women. As we talked and laughed, my attention was slowly drawn to the young lady who was running karaoke.
“Who you looking at Manny?” My friend asked.
“The karaoke girl…she has Elisabeth Shue hair.”
I said the words so naturally, not knowing that my friend was completely unaware of what I meant. But after showing him a picture of Elisabeth Shue, he totally understood.
“It’s not as much about the length,” I said, “It’s more about the mix of brown and blonde.”
The karaoke girl wasn’t even that pretty, but damn did she have hair like my woman.
I could’ve said anything else I wanted about Elisabeth Shue’s hair, but he knew it was also her likeness I fell for. And he knew at least 2 girls that I dated who looked a lot like her. So I spilled the beans, explaining that Elisabeth Shue, especially her character in Karate Kid, had an effect on me.
You know the premise, a young blonde falls for a scruffy outsider who has to fight his way for respect. As a kid, that was all I needed to see. I can admit I took the storyline a bit literally, but as a scruffy outsider, I really didn’t have much of a choice. It was way too easy to fall in love with a fictional character when you felt like you really didn’t belong anywhere in the real world. But I wanted that to change. I wanted to believe that there would be a certain girl out there for me, even if I didn’t have everything right in my life.
Naturally, at the age of 6, I couldn’t understand the emotionally complexities of the human heart and love just yet. So I just graphed an image to my brain and kind of ran with it. The same thing happened when I saw Whitney Houston in “The Bodyguard”,
Betty Chung in “Enter The Dragon”,
Molly Ringwald in “Sixteen Candles”
But since I grew up in a neighborhood where I could count all the black people I knew on one hand, was nowhere near a Chinatown, and knew more brunettes that scared me than ones that wanted kisses on their birthdays, it kind of all fell on ol’ Shue and her blonde look-a-likes. I eventually saw Nicole Kidman in “Days of Thunder” which temporarily switched things up, but if you’ve read my blog then you already know how that got me in trouble. If not, click here!
It wasn’t just Karate Kid that had me in love with Shue. All of her 80s and early 90s movies just seemed like the same character put in different situations (Don’t try to tell me that her character in “Cocktail” wasn’t just a grown up version of Allie from Karate Kid!), and I liked that. It wasn’t until “Leaving Las Vegas” that I said, “Holy shit, she’s an actress!!”
The images that we follow all come from somewhere. Not many people are brave enough to seek them out like I did. Probably in fear that it’ll lead back to an episode of “Facts of Life” or Jessica Lange…from pretty much any Jessica Lange movie. I, however, cherish my discovery. Even though it may not stop me from chasing faultful athletic blondes with round hips and beautiful smiles, I believe it gives me clarity and lets me know I actually have some sort of standard (even if it’s composed of the images and words of fictional characters).
So If you don’t mind that I live in a crappy neighborhood, lose a couple fights every once in a while, and have an Asian guy as a best-friend, then apply within. The Shue may fit.
Also, like this post if you think that last line was lame.
Good Morning 🙂