June 22, 2012 by Manny Wordsmith
I’m horrible with goals. I make them, then break them, make some more, then break those too. But I want to stick by this one.
A lot has happened in the last couple weeks…or nothing at all, depending on the way you look at it. I have stalled. I am no longer moving forward with my dreams of becoming a journalist. I only have about 2 semesters left, plus an internship before I can graduate. That’s all!. And yet, I can’t register for the Fall Semester.
I look at the site everyday, just telling myself, “Pick the damn classes, pick the damn CLASSES!!” But I can’t. Fear of the unknowning and the fear of walking the wrong path has taken hold of me. And since the Army pays me to go to school, and I’ve decided to stop, I had to get a job working at Best Buy.
I know I don’t belong at a retail store doing security, but I am terrified.
Last semester was a wreck. I spent more time worrying about money than trying to make my grades. The reality of my financial woes slapped me in the face harder than I expected. One wrong investment put me down a path I haven’t been able to get away from.
So by Monday I have to make a decision on whether I will finish off my last two semesters, change my major all together, or try to be the best Asset Protection Specialist Best Buy has ever seen!
Other choices include getting back into active duty or reenlisting for 6 years in the reserves. But that discussion will be for another post. Right now, the big thing is if I still want to be a journalist.
Better yet, whether I want to be a writer or not.
I read today that goals can’t be accomplished without inspiration.
I had this goal, for next year, to travel to England, then to Germany, and then north to Sweden, visiting friends and documenting my travels via pictures and a journal.
I got rid of the idea all together. The last thing I was gonna be able to afford was a plane ticket anywhere. I was done. That was till I saw the Euro 2012 quarter finals match yesterday when Germany whooped Greece. I was chatting with my German friends throughout the entire match. And during that time, all I could think about was being in Germany.
So there. My inspiration in the form of futbol. Now that I have that ahead of me, I will let that drive my work ethic.
“Get money, pay bills, save money, get to Europe.”
And hopefully it can drive my writing ethic too. Because it would be my magnum opus if I were able to write about everything I was doing and seeing as I backpacked through Europe. But one step at a time. Gotta work in a couple of hours. Take care everyone 🙂