North Face Jackets and Leggings = End of the World

2

April 10, 2012 by Manny Wordsmith

Global Warming doesn’t scare me. Of course I did just capitalize it…so maybe it scares me just a bit. But I’m willing to give up my great-grandkids’ future of temperate breezes and balanced sea-levels, just to be able to give my calves some hot sunshine in April. Too much to ask? I think not!

Spring is a tricky bastard. It drew us all in with 76 degree weather last month, making us feel warm, fuzzy and secure. I was ready to pick out board shorts and try on flip-flops a couple weeks ago. The shining sun got me excited and I was ready to skip over cold winds and get straight to the good stuff.

As the brisk wind continues to ruin my early summer, I realize that I really don’t have a “sufficient” jacket for this springish, winterish in-between summerless mess. So I find myself in hoodies and long sleeves, running to my classes, while trying not to freeze. I refuse to get a North Face and be like the rest of the lemmings that crowd the Wayne State campus, but dammit, those things look warm.

If I get one, I feel that I’ll be open to more influence. There’s a possibility that I’ll either become a douchebag, who actively searches for hi-fives to validate terrible jokes and quips, or I’ll stop wearing jeans and Nike’s all together and just settle for leggings and Uggs that’ll then show off my man business through a thin layer of nylon.

Pause and try to get THAT image out of your head.

But who knows, the balance of the space and time continuum could all depend on whether or not I can stay away from trendy, preppy fashion. I might be saving the world by sticking to hoodies, Levi’s and Hanes tees. So the best thing for my weak will and ::gulp:: the world, is that warm weather comes back soon. The last thing I want is to destroy our existence, just because I want my arms toasty and my crotch exposed to the elements.

 

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2 thoughts on “North Face Jackets and Leggings = End of the World

  1. Cheryl Smith says:

    This story has a great twist concerning a real life problem. Manny you are a profession wordolo
    gist…. I am loving the way you just make the words come alive on the pages and leap right out into the reader’s imagination…. Great Job, I always know there’s much more to come…… Cheryl Smith aka Chattie Cathy.

  2. offdadome says:

    We experienced the same faux summer a couple weeks ago here in Toronto, I ran out got a pedicure and dug through my closet to find shorts. Only to re-acquaint myself with the freezing cold and cover up in Uggs again. Great post, hilarious imagery of a male in leggings and Uggs, I would conform to the North Face nation if I were you, they’re super warm.

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