April 2, 2012 by Manny Wordsmith
Falling in some misdirected form of love is the easiest thing for a good-hearted person to do. That, and probably a pretty rad shadow puppet play.
You’ll meet people who some may consider “wrecked”, and you’ll take them under your arms like a stupid, grinning Superman…all in one flying swoop. Your excitement will be unbearable, and the naivety of your choice will show through the person’s openly inane disrespect for others and their unwavering bad taste in almost everything.
Your friends will hate this person.
But you’ll scream, “Let’s put the pieces together…together!”
“I’ll be the responsible paragon with the big heart,” you’ll say. “And you can be the self-destructive, indecisive, sadist that plots to tear down whatever image of ‘happily ever after’ I try to create!”
Some may tell you it’s worth it. The touch of another, your empty void being filled and what not. Some, but not many, will even say, “Hey, it’s alright if none of your friends like her, I love Sherry, and all my friends gave me shit about it. But now, we’re happy and we’ve been married for 6 years!”
But what Mike, Lisa, Jerry, Darren, Paco, Amanda, Denny or Chelsea won’t tell you is that your their only real friend and that the rest of the people who populate their dreary life are “friends” who are obligated to be there (i.e. cousins, aunts, uncles and autistic neighbors they grew up with). Other than hanging out with those people and you, the couple spends all their time eating Hamburger Helper and playing Wii golf, farting and laughing at each other.
You don’t want that, and you definitely don’t want to walk back into the same minefield over and over again, just to have someone to go to trade shows with to buy replica Japanese swords.
But don’t worry, your close friends will know when you’re in trouble. And your REALLY close friends will know when your walking down the same path you walked before.
You may get a text while you’re at some party with your new love, where she’s spastically insulting other people’s views about the Israeli and Iran conflict.”I don’t see why you think there needs to be a non-military solution. All Iranians are terrorists,” she’ll inexplicably and unfortunately say.
You’ll shake your head and read the text from your friend that may say, “Escape why you can! You’ve already done this! And everyone knows that deja vu means the agents changed something!” You’ll giggle at your friend for using philosophy from “The Matrix” to warn you of your appending doom, but then you’ll see the serious side of it. You’ll ponder your insanity and what it means to date the same type of people every time, but expect a different result. You may think that the familiar is easier to deal with than the unknown, but that’s not always the best. Forcing yourself to deal with terrible circumstances just for the sake of battling “a devil you know”, is idiotic and fateful. If you have to continually weigh the “Pros & Cons”, then something isn’t right. And that scar tissue you’ve built up won’t last forever.
My sister once told me that, “When love is true, it’s not supposed to be hard.”
There’s something with the natural jubilation of early physical attraction and excitement that should make things whimsical and weightless. If you’re experiencing roadblocks before you even start the race, then there’s something terribly wrong. My personal problem is that I think that every early challenge can be looked at like the Romeo and Juliet story. Follow me here…
Romeo sees insurmountable roadblocks not even 15 minutes after confessing his love to Juliet. But instead of quitting and searching for Rosalyn, he goes to Juliet’s window and devises a plan to make their love work, no matter what their parents might think.
Of course I never think about Romeo killing Juliet’s cousin Tybalt or the couple both dying. I just see someone who fights for something. And it’s there where much of the problem lies for people. Who’s worth the fighting for? Who’s worth losing friends over? Who’s worth walking the same destructive path for?
Tell your trusted friends everything. And if they love you, they’ll help guide you. I don’t believe the saying, “Only you know what’s true in your heart.” I believe that if you let people in, allow them to see how you work, your wants, fears and desires, they can nudge you toward the great things you may not be able to see, or steer you away from the things that may crush you for good.
In this fight, there’s nothing wrong with back-up. I hope you all can find your way. Peace.