February 1, 2012 by Manny Wordsmith
“I don’t date black guys,” she says. I don’t respond immediately, but I think about all the things I want to say, that I won’t.
“Well I don’t date ugly people.”
“When I was 19 I spoke without thinking too!”
“How did we even get on this subject? I didn’t know asking you about Thursday’s homework was an intricate flirtation technique!”
“I said I like food, FOOD!”
Then I say, “Well I guess that’s your choice.”
I probably went out like a punk to most of you, but I’ve heard this my whole life.
A guy like myself, who doesn’t follow the idiotic stereotypes of his own race (except for the chicken. I love Chicken!!), looks to meet someone who also feels the same way about their race.
My friends joke with me constantly about how my track record is mostly one-sided, leaning closer to white women than any other. Some might conclude that I don’t prefer to date women of my race, but that’s just ridiculous. I live in Warren. And I can’t help that. But damn if I’m gonna scour the white plains of this backwards town in hopes of finding my ‘Ark Mate’, who will make everything “complete” for me. I don’t chase color.
And as an educated man, I know that it’s completely stupid to push away any one race just for the sake of emotional protection. I find amazing things in most of the people I meet and I couldn’t possibly miss out on that.
It’s unfortunate that I constantly meet these convoluted girls who can turn a heartbreak, a distant father or their mother’s crazy ex-boyfriend into an image that stands as something to avoid. But these are all personal things. These are all things that no one single stranger would know without asking. And this is why I think this is weird. Why do girls feel that they need to tell me? They don’t know anything about me, and yet, their defense against a stranger is to tell him that everything they THINK he is, is not what they want.
I think “I’m not interested” has the same endgame without them sounding like unintelligent frost queens that think every black guy is some type of threat to their “immaculate” chastity.
Women who see love and relationships through this jaded and ambiguous lens can force feed their irreconcilable BS right into their backends. My calm demeanor is only held by my strict upbringing that taught me how to treat women. Just because I’m a man of color, it doesn’t mean a woman’s body is some sort of red flag that I need to rush at like a bull. What’s the point of Lex Luthor using Kryptonite against Clark Kent when he hasn’t even opened his shirt yet?
For anyone who reads this, just know that even the simplistic forms of “shutting someone down” can have negative response by the other person. But to avoid looking like a orney, half-wit, think about what you say and how a person is gonna react to a slight of racism. But if you don’t care, then you probably didn’t read this far anyway. In that case, good riddance.
Oh and by the way, the girl who told me that she didn’t date black guys was black also.