January 24, 2012 by Manny Wordsmith
Push the clouds away.
So I’ve had some serious writer’s block lately. And because of that I’ve thought a lot about why I chose journalism as my major.
I used to just want to write stories, elaborate, intricate action love stories about underdogs who beat the odds and get the girl. Nothing felt clearer than that concept.
Save the cheerleader, save the world, I thought.
Then I changed things up, almost suddenly. I just woke up one day and switched my degree program from English to Journalism.
I thought back to what was going on in my life at the time…
It was the spring of 2011 and I was single and pursuing a girl who didn’t want to be pursued. It was a classic story in most cases. If it was Shakespeare, I would have practiced all sorts of courting moves and probably wore some uncomfortable tights. I would have had these long, intricate declarations that exposed my exact feelings in iambic pentameter. She would have swooned under my romantic approach.
But this wasn’t the case for me.
It was more like, “Hey we kissed while we were drunk…does that mean anything to you? Because It means a lot to me.”
Eat your heart out Romeo…
The chase, as juvenile as it seemed, got tiring. And even though I didn’t give up the possibility that my close friend would finally see me as her one-and-only, I kind of gave up on the love story. I stopped using my imagination to propel an unreachable concept. And because of that, I guess the idea of writing fictional stories became dismal. So you can say in 2010, in my effort to get out of an emotional ditch, I dropped the fantasy and bought some reality.
I wrote a post called Orange Mustangs, and in it I say, “I used to write love stories, now I write the truth.” I thought it was clever, until I realized that my own failed pursuits of love have completely shutdown a part of me that used to thrive.
This doesn’t mean I don’t believe in falling in love. Now it just seems like a bi-product of just being around a person, who likes being around you. It’s not something magical. I feel like back in the day I was like a caveman that saw his first sunset and thought it was something unique and great. But now I know that the world rotates on an axis and it revolves around the sun, giving the sun the illusion that it’s “setting” even though it really isn’t going anywhere…it’s all science. But I’d pay to think it was magic again.