Battle for Hoth


April 5, 2011 by Manny Wordsmith

Right into the groove.

It’s been awhile but I haven’t missed a step. I’m still an abrasive skater moving through life, riding the highs and lows as they approach and seamlessly grinding from one pool of disoriented selfish women to the other. I’m surrounded by gorges of snow bunnies, who desperately climb over each other, just to try to figure out how a black guy like myself made it way out to them in the burbs. But time they figure out that I’ve always been here, it’s like my Black card is stripped from me and Billy Dee Williams no longer wants to meet up for 40s and blunts night at the Booby Trap. So my love life is a mess. I seriously attempt to juggle flaming chainsaws every time i step into the bar. One trip or misstep usually calls off all bets, leaving me armless and on fire. I can hardly keep up. Most of these girls have the attention span of a gnat and only concentrate on partying. And that’s fine as long as they don’t think I’m P.Diddy or Waka Flaka Flame when they meet me. I can guarantee neither of those guys have problems with drunk white girls confusing their personalities.

But I’m a nerd and usually unaware that it’s impossible for me to talk my way into a girl’s panties. So I drown them in so much sarcasm and wit, that they’d rather make me do their political science homework than let me have recess under their skirts. The fact that I even get close enough to see the edge of the park sometimes riddles me. But when I’m in the zone I can impress them for about…I don’t know 48hrs? I can hold a bit of mystery for that long. Sometimes I can get the recess time before the whistle. But After the clock strikes I’m like Cinderella leaving the ball. But instead of turning back to the dirty step-sister that every one ragged on, I turn back to Carlton Banks! No matter how well I played four-square. So it’s just downhill from there. I become “that guy” and get ignored when we’re in the same bar together. Or the girls will play sick when I inquire about a second date. I go from Denzel one night to Steve Urkel the next. I can admit the quality of the women I chose is lack luster. They’re more Ke$ha than Jennifer Hudson. More Paris Hilton than Molly Ringwald. Not quite sure what I meant by that last note, but I’ll assume the drift will eventually catch a sail…So I guess I get what I get because of what I choose…right? How can a sewer skank appreciate class when all she knows are rats? That must be it. That or I have some severe body stank that I’m unaware of. Either way I need to find a new field to play on. Preferably with a nerdy woman who is more than capable of doing her own fucking homework.


4 thoughts on “Battle for Hoth

  1. J.Ritt says:

    Manny no Matter what you say or think your a GREAT guy. Fuck them hoes cause that`s all they`ll ever be and while they`re in the sewer, you my friend will be rising high. Raise your standards cause next to that “hot” girl your staring at is a mediocre girl that may not be the sexiest or the smartest, but she`s the one that will laugh at all your jokes and look forward to the conversations you will hold. I know this from experience because I don`t have the “pretty girl” looks, but what I lack there I make up for in personality. Expand your horizons hun and go for the unexpected one. Don`t rush shit like this cause it WILL come. Patience is a virtue baby. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP. Nothing but love for you.

  2. Mia says:

    I agree with J.Ritt. ^_^
    and yea, it probly is because of the girls you go after. Blondes, need i say more? Lol. J.k.j.k. but eventually you’ll find someone who matches and compliments your style and personality, u just gotta be patient =)
    p.s. i don’t think the bar is the best place to find ur nerdette, but you never know ^_^ lol.

    • Manny Menace says:

      Mysterious Mia, thank you for your input! Since this post I have definitely changed things up and balanced out a bit. Not to say I won’t have more funny stories and opinions about women in bars, but I think this time I’ll tell the story from a better perspective and not one of a person that gets affected by stupid people. Once again thanks for the comment 🙂

      • Mysterious Mia =] says:

        I usually go by “Mia the Magical One” (which I really only use for emails or usernames. lol.) but Mysterious Mia has a nice ring to it ^_^ lol. but you’re very welcome =) i like reading your posts, they’re funny and i like your sarcasm/sense of humor =] lol.
        but that’s good to change things up a bit =)
        hope it works out for u ^_^

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,307 other followers

%d bloggers like this: