Let’s Toast Mediocrity

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February 12, 2011 by Manny Wordsmith

So the street life called me last night. Wait…that makes me sound like a recovering drug dealer who relapsed….What I meant was that last night I roamed the streets. Shit, now I sound like a prostitute…

I went out last night people, that’s what I’m trying to say! And I had a pretty good time. I was supposed to hangout with my homie Matt


But he wanted to go to Royal Oak and I couldn’t do it. It seems that the Royal Oak police love giving me tickets. The rest of the state seems to be fine with me, but time I step into Royal Oak the cops are alerted, helicopters are gassed up, and my car is cornered. Yeah, evening news shit. I’m a got damn public enemy number one in that town!

I look pretty good in a beret don’t I?

So that idea is scratched, but almost immediately after I dead the idea of going into the Royal Oak war zone, my homies Barwin and Ski convince me to go up to Vivio’s around 12. I’m excited.

And sometimes I can’t understand it. The place is like a haven for bad class reunions. It’s about a block away from my old school and for some reason that means everyone who went there must drink at Vivio’s. There’s always some awkward staring from a distance like, “Do I know her? Did we have history together?”. But of course there’s no history because she’s a girl from high school! A time where I was not at my best. I literally walked around with a backpack full of Kung Fu magazines and comic books. Need I say more?

Midnight was covered. Now the prelude to Vivio’s was heading up to Sporty O’ Tooles to see my homie Double T Dj.

That’s not Double T, that’s Rick.

He’s the one in the middle. And that’s my homie Milan on the other side.

The spot was deadish, but it wasn’t bad. Double T just started DJing up there so the word has to be released that a bad ass Dj now resides at Sporty O’Tooles on Friday nights. I guess the DJ they had there before used to run out of ideas and just stop. Yup, just like that. And when people complained about that she’d ask them what they wanted to hear. No microphone though, she would just yell. And after she got the requests there would be times where she wouldn’t even play the songs! That’s terrible. You have to have good taste in music and I know what makes asses drop. If not then you’re useless and a waste of money.

I end up leaving within an hour and I head to Vivio’s to meet these fools (Ski on the left, Barwin on the right)

And Mr. Brian Sanders

But they were the only ones there from my graduating class. We all thought that was weird, but it didn’t stop us from bashing all the bastards we didn’t like in high school. That’s usually the thing. We’ll get together in some low-key spot and just talk shit about women, assholes we’ve run into and just the general annoyance of life in Warren, Michigan. But last night brought in two other additions.

Ladies! Barwin knew them. Or one of them…the one on my right I think…Dayna. They came in unexpectedly and we convinced them to sit with us while they waited for some other guys to get there. It was weird that they were both white, but the same shade as me. I used these observation as a jump off point and started with the flirting. With this one especially.

And I say “this one” because I can’t remember her name. But don’t worry, I didn’t go home with her. Because if did go home with her and I still didn’t know her name then I’d really be an asshole. Instead, I just didn’t have the right goals. She wanted to be a cop and we just happened to have a friend in the group that was a cop. So time the acronyms and shit started getting waved around I kind of loss my hold. Plus, she got on the subject of how all guys are assholes and blah blah blah and that always makes me uninterested. No man should have to climb up a giant hill of problems just because one guy made a shitty mistake. Anyway we all part ways. Barwin and Ski head to the casino, the girls to coney and Brian and I go to our respective homes. Don’t ask me how a bunch of drunk single people can get together without anything happening. I blame the city where we reside. But I think Ski got the digits of the curly haired one, so we might be hearing about these young ladies again real soon. I have another bar night tonight, this time in Ferndale to see Shotgun Soul perform @ The New Way. Pics and stories tomorrow. Peace fam!

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