February 22, 2010 by Manny Wordsmith
“Relax Manny, you think too much”
I get that a lot. It’s mostly from a lack of patience. And also from some words my mom blessed me with at a young age.
“You can’t expect anyone to figure things out for you baby. Your gonna have to search and find a lot of things on your own. I’ll always be here for you, but your going to have to pave your own road”
I kinda took my mom’s words ran with them. Now I won’t wait for the illustrious meanings behind the events in my life to just hit me. I’ll ask myself why. I’ll break things down inside and out until something makes sense. I am socially adept, and yet I’ll become very introspective when something doesn’t go the way I want it to go.
I leave little to fate or destiny. I don’t believe in coincidences, and I think everyone has ulterior motives. I guarantee that none of this is healthy for me. I’m not letting much just be. I’m cutting the invisible strings of the “Unknowing” and putting everything in my own hands. It’s daunting. And because of this I worry a lot more than I should, I don’t let things go as quickly as I should, and I always wonder if the Jack Bauer School of Interrogation can teach me how to get the answers I think I so desperately need from people.
Without overflowing this blog with more psychobabble I think I’ve learned through all my travels and over-thinking that people aren’t hard to read and that the typical person rarely speaks and reacts to the things that they actually feel. I think I just want the real. I want it in every aspect of my life. No matter how crazy or naive that might sound. Not many others care. They’ll just eat what’s feed to them. I don’t see the productivity in that. I’m not gonna assume that someone on a reality television show or a news program knows the best for me. And I’m not gonna assume that the person standing next to me isn’t going to be out to get their own before their willing to help or guide someone else.
Yes I think too much. But I’d rather know more than know nothing.