North Face Jackets and Leggings = End of the World
Posted: April 10, 2012 Filed under: life, MI, Wayne State | Tags: Cold Weather, Crotch, Funny, humor, Leggings, Michigan, Northface, Uggs 2 Comments »Global Warming doesn’t scare me. Of course I did just capitalize it…so maybe it scares me just a bit. But I’m willing to give up my great-grandkids’ future of temperate breezes and balanced sea-levels, just to be able to give my calves some hot sunshine in April. Too much to ask? I think not!
Spring is a tricky bastard. It drew us all in with 76 degree weather last month, making us feel warm, fuzzy and secure. I was ready to pick out board shorts and try on flip-flops a couple weeks ago. The shining sun got me excited and I was ready to skip over cold winds and get straight to the good stuff.
As the brisk wind continues to ruin my early summer, I realize that I really don’t have a “sufficient” jacket for this springish, winterish in-between summerless mess. So I find myself in hoodies and long sleeves, running to my classes, while trying not to freeze. I refuse to get a North Face and be like the rest of the lemmings that crowd the Wayne State campus, but dammit, those things look warm.
If I get one, I feel that I’ll be open to more influence. There’s a possibility that I’ll either become a douchebag, who actively searches for hi-fives to validate terrible jokes and quips, or I’ll stop wearing jeans and Nike’s all together and just settle for leggings and Uggs that’ll then show off my man business through a thin layer of nylon.
Pause and try to get THAT image out of your head.
But who knows, the balance of the space and time continuum could all depend on whether or not I can stay away from trendy, preppy fashion. I might be saving the world by sticking to hoodies, Levi’s and Hanes tees. So the best thing for my weak will and ::gulp:: the world, is that warm weather comes back soon. The last thing I want is to destroy our existence, just because I want my arms toasty and my crotch exposed to the elements.
Up and Up Some More
Posted: November 17, 2011 Filed under: MI | Tags: Alpena, breathtaking places, Bruce Lee, cheap vodka, Lake Huron, Michigan, Vacation Leave a comment »Today, my weekend officially starts. I’m especially excited about this because I’ll be spending two glorious night in Alpena, Michigan.
(pause for dramatic effect)
For the people who don’t live in Michigan, Aplena is around the nail of your index finger on your left hand.
(Yes, Michiganders do use their left hand as maps. The state is shaped like a damn mitten, it makes sense.)
I never really ventured around Michigan before I left for the Army. While many other people had family up north and an insatiable need to four-wheel and hunt (probably at the same time), I was more worried about scavenging for my next fifth of cheap vodka and organizing my Bruce Lee book collection.
The first time I came home on leave from Germany, I realized I knew more about Europe than my own state! It was embarrassing. Everyone else in my unit talked about low-key “less touristy spots” they would take people and beautiful scenery they could bask in. At the age of 21, I wouldn’t have been able to take anyone anywhere really cool or personal. Maybe just Wild Woody’s or Jon Jon’s Cabaret, a trailer park or two or my apartment complex. And believe me when I say the scenery in all those places were pretty much the same…and not very beautiful.
It wasn’t until I left from home did I actually feel a need to explore.
So I vowed when I got out of active duty that I would explore the state I grew up in. And so far I’ve managed to follow most of my white friends and see some really breathtaking spots. Alpena itself has nothing overwhelming to brag about. It’s just quaint and unassuming. The type of place I could really settle down and write my first novel in. The people there seem nice. And even though there aren’t many minorities around, it has never stopped anyone from being nice to me.
This weekend will concentrate on catching up with my good friend Jessica, perfecting my recreational drinking and maybe shooting a deer. But that last one will solely depend on what time brunch will be. I love it.
Lake Huron on my way to Alpena last year.
Boozing Through October
Posted: October 6, 2011 Filed under: life, MI, Warren | Tags: Best-Friends, booze, Drinking, October, Women Leave a comment »Let’s be honest people, no one likes to read much. Especially online. Unless it’s a funny status on FB or a really witty tweet. Other than that most of us just read the headlines on Yahoo’s front page and go on with our lives. It’s a shame. I thank the 13 or so people who read this blog. I know most of you don’t comment on the page or on FB, but you guys still find a way to show your appreciation. I’ll keep on writing if you keep reading.
So far October has been a crazy month. Lots of birthdays and lots of parties…and it’s only the 6th!!
I can’t afford this shit.
If I plan to survive the rest of this month, I might need to sell blood or start a babysitting service. I really don’t want to do either one, but this month will continue on the same track…lights…music…beauties… Throw in costumes and other social knick-knacks and you have a typical October for me. And this is at least four days a week! I don’t know how I do it. If travelling from one circle of friends to the next, drinking, dancing and having a good time was a paying job I’d be a VP by now making $250,000 a year. This needs to be an occupation.
When Jessica Findley and I were at the top-notch peak of friendship, we would hit up two maybe three parties a night. She was a trooper, who could keep up if she ate a decent dinner. If not, I was carrying her out the door or saving her from creepers. But that didn’t matter to me. It was her company that was greatly appreciated. You’d be surprised how differently people treat a guy when he’s standing next to a pretty girl drinking a Cranberry Vodka.
This type of in and out, treadmill party lifestyle isn’t meant for everyone. I have problems too. School, music and studying play a big part. And there’s still a substantial amount of friends I never see.
Now, my homie Matt Barwin, my current party travelling recruit, is made for this lifestyle. No carrying out the door or redirecting. He can usually hold his own without my help. No saving him from terribly crazy women or bouncers. He’s the fucking James Bond of this half-ass party scene we have in Metro Detroit. Cooler than a polar bear’s toenail and smoother than Don Draper with a scotch and cigar…
ok maybe not that smooth, but he’s getting there!
We joke about how nothing would change even if we both had high paying jobs. We’d just never ask how much drinks cost or complain when we have to pay cover. I’d probably have nicer shoes though. Ultimately, I need to make all this DJing and music producing move things along. Also, if I can become a premier entertainment writer/photographer I can probably get into a lot more places and get paid for this tireless running I do. Just an idea…
Tonight will be all music. I have to finish a verse and send off some beats to my boy Dope Da Vinci. Guerrilla Dope is coming back strong. Look out for some new music soon!
And Today’s Forecast…Shit.
Posted: April 18, 2011 Filed under: MI | Tags: Apollo Creed, Choi Dong-Wook, Korean Pop, Narnia, Rocky, Se7en, snow, Spring, Winter Leave a comment »So this is what the outside looked like this morning
Needless to say I wasn’t very happy.
There’s nothing I can do. There’s no special dance I can bust into to make the right weather sync to the correct season. I barely can get my iPod to sync to my Macbook! Bitching and complaining does nothing to get the job done, but at least it makes us all feel better. I love hearing from the grumpy cynics who don’t get happy about spring till the Summer Solstice.
“Grumble grumble…we’re from Michigan…grumble…you should always expect God to take shits on us!”
Why would I want to expect that? Why would I want to go outside every day knowing that no matter what month or season it is my neighborhood could still look like fucking Narnia?
This is saying nothing personally against Narnia. I’d love to save some talking badgers and get advice from wise lions, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is that most of us in this angry, drab state, want to believe that sunny skies are coming to stay! Not too long ago I wrote a blog embracing the spring sun and hoped it would be my savior. Instead of sticking around, it left. Now I’m just as sad as I was when I was a kid right after I watched Drago kill Apollo Creed.
“Why didn’t you throw the towel in time Rock? WHY!?”
I seriously blamed slow motion for months…
This winter blast leaves me slightly broken. I’m not sure how many more times I’ll shake my fist at the weather before I become one of those cynics. I expect at some point for the weather to start looking like every scene from the movie Se7en.
Whoa! wrong video and not what I expected. I must have gotten the links crossed or something. This kid is singing his heart out though. I can’t actually understand anything except for the chorus, but I can feel his words! It’s unfortunate that he named himself after a very bloody and twisted cinematic thriller. Now he’ll never break into the American market. No self-respecting blue-blooded American girl would go near him. Especially if a wily Kevin Spacey is planning on putting some heads in some boxes! I wouldn’t wish that on any Bieber-haired Korean kid. But who knows, he might be asking for it. He had to have said some ill shit for his girl to try to smash up that Volvo. She’s lucky those strategically placed cardboard boxes were there…or lights out.
A little more off subject than usually, but you’ll survive!
I hope the weather has some sort of predictable stability to it. Finals are coming up soon and a great way to celebrate finishing those will be drinking someplace outside with a fresh pair of ray-bans and flip-flops. Till tomorrow fam. Peace!
Warren Can Really Just Suck It Pt.1
Posted: September 15, 2010 Filed under: MI | Tags: Adventure, Ecuador, King Kong, Latin, Michigan, Warren Leave a comment »The majority of my days seem to be spent in front of my iMac. I grind away at these keys hoping for magic to arise and save me from the impersonal and tiring city of Warren, Michigan. I need to move someplace that has personality, style, finesse. A place where adventure calls my name…
“Yo Manny I’m adventure. How about we get out of this room, find some really influential young women and fuck some shit up. How does that sound?”
Unfortunately Warren is more like this
“Hey Manny I’m the ugly splinter in your side. If you try to move around too much or do anything fun, I’ll just find a way of make it painful and surprisingly annoying. How does that sound?”
You think this is over the top? Well it isn’t asshole. I’m not going to sit here and fill this blank space with a bitch session about my city, but I want everyone to understand that sometimes people can grow out of their surroundings. I’m like King Kong in a fishbowl. And I hate water. But until I gather the money to set up a new residence I will have to put up with Warren, which I believe has the highest amount of old white people in this part of Michigan. This makes driving anywhere as exciting as watching trees grow. The “white” reference probably can easily be replaced with any race, but I just call it how I see it, and what I see is a lot of white people. A lot less when I was a kid though. During that time my family and I were like stranded Cocoa Puffs roaming around a giant bowl of milk. There were a sprinkle of Reese’s Puffs from my Arab brethren here and there, but mostly Caucasians. I wouldn’t mind a place with a little more color and variety. Or just a Latin Bar. Those seem to bring in people you never even knew existed in your city
“You say your from Ecuador?”
“Si”
“Oh shit, I’m sorry, I don’t speak Spanish”
I”ll make the best of this city one foul night at a time. Hopefully I’ll get some great pics to share with you all. Take care. Peace
